A MONTH IS NOT THE CURE

After a month in the Northeast Kindom , a month of peace and quiet ( albeit wet and cold ) my stress level had decreased such that I was worried my blood pressure , normally elevated, might well be too low. I can barely feel my pulse and that five o'clock tightness in my neck muscles is gone . Wow, this place with its slow pace , small population , and NO CELL COVERAGE may allow me to quit the BP pills altogether . It feels that I have reached a level of Karma that thousands have sought for many years. Surely nothing can ever threaten this state of peace , satisfaction, and self control . I have finally gotten it . Peace , tranquility and true Karma lies within each of us and exterior forces cannot take it from us unless we allow it . What a great time for a vacation . We booked a flight to Vancouver . I could not be more excited .

Approaching the Ticket counter at Burlington airport with my new attitude of peace and harmony , I was not taken aback by the airline employee's declaration that we would be delayed in departing for 2 and one half hours . What difference would it make if we were a few hours later arriving in Vancouver . For perhaps the first time in years , I did not see this messenger as an adversary but simply a good person doing his job . When he further advised that we would now have to fly from the northern Vermont city of Burlington south to Baltimore then back north to Boston , where we would layover for two hours , before being flown to Vancouver . Again , I was courteous , understanding , and even sympathetic with him knowing this announcement would certainly bring howls of discontent from the long line of people he was facing . I thought only of good things , relishing the peace I felt within and was perhaps a bit glib thinking that I had something most would never find. I looked at my wife and said to her that we were going to have a fantastic dinner in Boston and told her how fortuitous it was that fate was sending us to Beantown , one of America's great eating cities . I asked her if she was proud of my new-found personna , my ability to roll with the punches of life . I needed an "atta boy ". She answered with a "yes" but seemed less than convinced . I would have to show her . The sarge is not one to be quickly convinced , but she would , I thought, come around.

It was with thoughts of Maine Lobster dancing in my head that we took off from BTV bound for Baltimore . A quick and pleasant flight later we arrive at 4:30 at BWI . Knowing that there were 12 of us who were making this connection we were not too concerned that the connecting flight was to leave Baltimore for Boston at 4:30 as well . The airline had told us the crew had been notified that we were coming and we knew the departure gate was only a few feet away . As we approached the departure gate , we saw a plane back away from the gate . Surely it was not ours. We were soon informed by the gate agent that this was indeed our flight and that it could not return to the gate . Even though that seems a regular custom on "The amazing Race", it would not happen for us . Here I will admit to a brief relapse into my old self and viewed the messenger with some hostility , especially when he stated that he had made the decision to send the plane on since he knew there to be much room on the next flight to Boston which would leave in one hour. He did not know however that our destination was Vancouver and not Boston . Now there would be no choice other than to put us up in a hotel in Baltimore , he said, and fly to Vancouver the next morning . After a brief regression , I once again, with some efffort , found my self control and merely watched quietly as 11 others verbally abused this pitiful creature . In a show of real compassion for my fellow man , I apologized to him for the conduct of my fellow passengers . Truly, I thought , I have put the old self behind .The Mahareshis have taught this for thousands of years and I found it in Vermont in one month .

I soothed my wife with the reminder that "it is the journey not the destination" which truly counts . We were together in a new city for us and this will go down as one of our many "travel moments ", to be remembered , not as a negative life experience . That night we did have a memorable meal at one of Baltimore's old family seafood houses which serves crab cakes that are world class - a huge lump of goodness full of real crab meat and no "filler " . It was heavenly.

We managed to wake up at 4:00 a.m. the next morning so as to be at the airport at 5:00 for our 6:30 flight . Although extremely sleepy , we were still in good spirtits and managed to undress for the security personnel of the TSA with little damage to our self respect . This would be a long flight to Vancouver but we had only one bag to check . We were almost home free .

Arriving in Vancouver later that day we went to the baggage carousel to which we were directed we waited for the bag . After 30 minutes it had not appeared and I went to the baggage claim office to check on it . There I was met with an office staffed by one person with at laest 8 people in line doing as I was , looking for their bags. After waiting 20 minutes it became clear that the sole empoyee was upset that she was the only one on duty and she would exact retribution on her employer , and all its customers , by taking the absolute greatest amount of time possible with each person . I could almost hear her thoughts : " well , they can put me here by myself but I will only see the number of customers I normally see when we are fully staffed. Thats all they pay me to do . I don't have to kill myself to help their ' bottom line' " . Twenty minutes later she was still tending to the business of the first person in line while the blood pressures of all the rest rose steadily upward , mine included . I struggled to hold on , not wanting to lose all I had gained in a month . After another 10 minutes , and a quick calculation of 8 customers times 30
minutes , I began to feel the steam escaping through my ears , realizing it would take 4 hours for me to reach the counter and the attention of the attendant. I stormed out of the office exclaiming for anyone who might be interested that this airline would never again have me to kick around. I WAS ONCE AGAIN OVERWHELMED BY BY IDIOTS ! HOW HARD IS IT TO FLY ONE BAG FROM BALTIMORE TO VANCOUVER ? THEY DELIVERED ME OK .WHY NOT THE BAG ?

The next day I called the baggage claim office to report my loss , knowing that failure to report it within 24 hours would free the airport from liability . Of course , to add insult to my injured
soul , no one was available save the ever- present voice mail. I followed the instructions carefully, providing the baggage claim number , flight number , name , phone number and several other details requested. Madame Voice Mail very pofessionally assured me that the phone was monitored 24/7 and that my claim would be duly noted and that I would receive a return call. After failing to receive this return call , I called again 24 hours later and was informed by the agent that my "failure to report the matter within 24 hours" would force them to now treat my claim as a "courtesy claim". She advised that this meant they would not deliver my bag to me if they found it , but that I would have to return to the airport to retreive it at my own time and expense. My protestations that I had called and left my claim with Madame Voice Mail fell on uncaring ears . Any fool , it seems would have brains enough not to fall for the automated attendant trick. I WAS FUMING .


I left the airport to await the airlines investigation into its own incompetence .
Having now been without my medications for 72 hours , not only was I seriously ill but was also experiencing withdrawals and feared open slobbering . I began to experience twitching in my eyelids . I had clearly lost that tranquility I had so happily found and had returned to the super-stressed state of periodic insanity brought on by IDIOTS . I had had it ! I had been back in civilization less than 48 hours and was wasted ...totally fatigued and depressed. IDIOTS !

Yesterday , early afternoon, the airline called saying they had found my bag . I immediately left for the hour drive to the airport . Soon all this would be over and we would begin to recover . Arriving at the airport , I pulled up to the curb at baggage claim , got out of my car, raised the trunk lid , and began to walk toward the door when I was accosted by an airport cop telling me I could not leave my car . After giving him a brief version of the events of the last three days he told me he DID NOT CARE and that if I took one more step he would write me a ticket . I asked how much the ticket would be . After he informed me the fine would be $25.00 , I decided the parking space was well worth the price and quickly walked away to the baggage claim office . Finding no one there and seeing my big bag with the solid bright green ribbon , I grabbed it and started from the office . Just then a lady came from the back room and asked me to stop and show my ID. Being angry at all the insult done to me by this incompetent airline I refused to stop ( I admit there was also some fear my car would be impounded had I took the time to answer to her requests). On my way back to our hotel a small voice from somewhere asked " are you sure the bag you picked up was yours? Are you sure it was green and not black? Lots of bags look alike. Is the ribbon bright, solid green ? " When this nosy little _____ , who shows up on my shoulder from time to time , finished his 20 questions I put all doubts out aside , ignoring him , as usual . Opening my trunk upon arriving at the hotel , I saw the bright green ribbon was NOT SOLID but was, on the reverse side , white with green shamrocks . IDIOTS ! IDIOTS EVERYWHERE !

Still , I am convinced that peace , tranquility, and self control come from within but now know that there is no quick fix . It is as elusive as the quick weight loss schemes . I once again recommit myself to the search for the cure . I am not defeated , just badly bruised . The Sarge continues to reserve the "atta boy " for later use .

Ken Fuller

ps:
yes the IDIOT made another trip immediately to the airport to return the bag and to sheepishly apologize for his rudeness and to take his bag along with ____ his medicine .